43 and counting.... still

Day 43.

I am feeling great.
I am doing great.
Work is going seemless.
It is so nice to be back.
I have something to look forward to everyday now.
Although I miss sleeping in and cuddling with my hubby all day long.

I am learning to work through some very hard issues.
And sometimes I take on a little too much at a time.
It seems like I just need to figure out how to just do the one day at a time thing.
But I am such a planner
And even more so, I am now so excited for the future.
I am excited that both Tom and I will be in school next semester.
I am excited that this is a new year, full of new possibilities.
I am excited that I am doing all of this.

My back has been hurting a lot this last week.
I think it might be the FREEZING cold weather we are having here.
Snow was even forcasted!!!! That hasn't happened since the 70's.
I also think, I am sitting a lot more.
Thats what I do at work.
Sit.
So when I go in for my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, we will see what we can do to get me comfortable. Because I don't want to go back to using pain meds. It just isn't worth it.

Also, on Thursday, when I went to group, my therapist pulled me aside afterwards to tell me that I still have benzos (valium, xanax, etc) in my system. I haven't taken any in over 30 days. They gave me some when I was first coming off the pain medication, but I haven't had any since then. I am not sure what my body is saying or doing, but I am really trying not to stress about it too much. At first, it was difficult, so I called my sponser and talked things out. I really don't want to mess this up, so I am really doing everything I can to work this and get better. I am reading everyday and taking it all in. I think maybe tonight I will go to a meeting. I haven't been to one all week.

So there you have it. Day 43. I feel pretty proud of myself. *while still trying to remail humble, because I couldn't do this without Him or the people supporting me*

P.S. Tom is doing great! He is taking two classes a week now and working. I am so proud of him! He really is the light of my life, my soulmate, my best friend. He really does know how to take care of me and love me. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.