Luke 1:37

So this last week has been one of those I don't ever want to re-live again.  

I know that it is just a test.  Thomas and I made a good decision last week... we decided to go get sealed... to make the ultimate commitment to each other... we are going to be with each other for time and all eternity.  And not only that, but we have made a commitment to God to be worthy to enter into His Temple.  While it isn't too hard, there are still things that had to change- or that are going to have to be changed- as we learn.  Like my caffeine intake.  I haven't had any since we decided to get sealed.  And other than this stupid ear infection that I have had for 4 days, I have never felt better.  We are really doing this.  Thomas is putting forth his effort and it means more to me more than he will ever know.  It took my breath away when he told me. 

But things just went all haywire after we decided to get sealed- it reminded me of my car breaking down the night of my baptism and Lee telling me that Satan was going to do everything he could to stop me from going down the right road.

So this week- I think he tried HARD!!!!

•  work sucked!  I was suppose to sign a loan on Tuesday- and it didn't happen.  Which means that the likelihood of Thomas and I going to Wyoming this summer for a family memorial service/reunion was slim to none.
•  I got a horrible ear infection that also included with a virus that kept me out of work for 2 days.  I was miserable!!!
•  I fought with my mom- which hasn't happened in a long time and really felt like it put us back to where we were not too long ago... this breaks my heart.
• My car needs new brakes- like today... and I am not sure how we are going to afford them.

But I had the chance to really pray about it.  Knowing that God was going to allow us to do whatever is necessary to get through, I let go and let God.  On Friday, I signed the loan I was suppose to sign on Tuesday and while the paycheck won't be nearly as big had I signed it on Tuesday- its still a paycheck.  I will be able to pay some people back (thanks Mom for helping us when we needed it, we really appreciate it!), get brakes on my car- and possibly go to Wyoming (my father also called and said if we needed it- he would help).  Today- I went and got some homoeopathic ear drops for my ear- and it feels a thousand times better.  Still clogged and still hurts but it isn't throbbing.  

I am so thankful for God.  He gives me so much strength.  I felt like falling apart.  I felt like the whole world was spinning out of control.  He remind me that it was just a test.  I could have gone back to my old ways- dealt with stress via a smoke, or had a cup of coffee to help me stay awake during those nights I didn't sleep due to the ear, or just simply forgot that He has a plan.  He knows what He is doing.  

We are going to make it after all. 

Prayers are answered!

Its been a while since I've posted anything. Time just seems to be slipping away. We have been so busy on the weekends- and even busy during the week... I find myself with little to no time to do things like this... But I am finding the time today.

Things have been awesome. I really can't complain much. I feel like I have developed something great with my mom... after all these years- I feel like we are FINALLY on the right path. I feel so blessed to have this chance with her and for the ability to be able to talk to her and spend time with her. Its been fantastic!!!

Tom is loving his new job... even though he has worked a total of maybe 15 hours since he started. I think it gives him something to feel proud about! I love seeing him laugh and smile like before. It makes me happy!

My job- has picked up steadily- sometimes giving me more than I think I can handle. I feel slightly overwhelmed... but I have to keep reminding myself at least I have got something to do... and too much is better than nothing at all.

I love General Conference this last time. I couldn't stop watching it! I was so overcome with the Spirit. Having Tom's family join us at our apartment- with french toast and sticky buns- was so much fun! It was great having them there.

As I listened to the talks... I just felt like it was me that they were speaking to. Elder Ballard spoke on learning lessons from the past. I loved this talk. I always seem to dwell on the past... on my past mistakes. Too much and too often. I've been told quite often to forget the past, move on and let go. And while I can see where people are coming from- yes, you have to move on and yes, you have to let go- otherwise it will consume you and make you angry and sad- forgetting doesn't do anyone any good "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”--George Santayana I will never go back to my past. I am happy that it is gone... but I will always remember it. It made me who I am today... and it made me who I am not.

I also love President Uchtdorf! He is an amazing speaker and he makes me laugh everytime. His talk I think was my favorite. I always want results right away- whether if it is from my job, or losing weight- or whatever it is. I want it NOW! He talked a lot about patience and that... "We don’t acquire eternal life in a sprint—this is a race of endurance."

I prayed about it that night with reverance and humility. I had been struggleing with being asked to wait to get my endowments until my husband could go with me. It was heart breaking to hear that I couldn't do it a year after my baptisim. I wanted it right then and there. And while I understood why I shouldn't go without my husband... I still felt cheated of not being able to. However, after Uchtdorf's talk... my heart started to settle and I remembered that it would happen in God's time.

On Wednesday, Thomas texts me and says, "The Bishop would like to see us tonight between 7-9."
Me: "Ok- how about 8?"
Tom: "Ok."

Here I am thinking we are in trouble.

We get there and the Bishop sits us down and tells us that there is a Temple Prep class starting next Thursday and he would like us to attend. I am beaming!!!! Tom is not so sure... as he still doesn't know if he is ready. We talk about things for a while with the Bishop and we leave- agreeing we would go to the class. On our way home, I ask Tom if he is really prepared for the committment and what it will take for us to prepare ourselves for the Temple. I also ask him if we could make a date for our sealing. He tells me he is going to sleep on it. The next evening, I ask him, if he slept on it. He said yes.... and that we will start working towards the 9-9-09 date of us being sealed. I was in SHOCK! I was so happy!!! I cannot wait to sealed for time and all eternity to this man. I just cannot wait!!!!!

Tomorrow I am taking my mother-in-law to San Francisco to celebrate her birthday! I am so excited to spend the day with her... to be in the city and to enjoy the beautiful day we are suppose to have. I'll post pictures of Easter and San Francisco on Sunday.

Hope all is well with you!!!!