Monday, October 26, 2009

Patience... what a virtue.

I love it when I am taught a lesson. Or am being taught a lesson. It makes me realize how loved and blessed I truly am to have Heavenly Father spend time on me teaching me things that I need.

I am reading a lot about patience. It seems to be an underlying theme throughout much of the Bible and Book of Mormon. To quote Elder Oaks in an article in Liahona:

"... “charity suffereth long.” That is what patience is all about. Charity “is not easily provoked” is another aspect of this quality, as is charity “beareth all things.” And finally, charity “endureth all things” is certainly an expression of patience (Moroni 7:45). From these defining elements it is evident that without patience gracing our soul, we would be seriously lacking with respect to a Christlike character.

In the Bible Job offers the classic portrait of patience. In the face of losing his vast empire, including his children, Job was able, because of his unfailing faith, to proclaim, “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Through all of his tribulation and pain, “Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job 1:21–22).

How often do we hear oppressed souls ask foolishly, “How could God do this to me?” when really they should be praying for strength to “beareth” and “endureth all things.”

The greatest scriptural examples of patience are found in the life of Jesus Christ. His long-suffering and endurance are best demonstrated on that excruciating night in Gethsemane as He uttered, in His atoning agony, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matthew 26:39). He truly suffered and bore and endured all things.

While nailed to the cross on Calvary, Christ continued in His perfect example of patience as He uttered the singular words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

These examples of patience have greater meaning for us when we consider the admonition found in 3 Nephi: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27).

Several scriptures highlight the importance of patience. Let me mention a few:

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).

“Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith” (Mosiah 23:21).

In Mosiah, King Benjamin instructs us that we will be a natural-man enemy of God until we yield to the enticings of the Holy Ghost through our patience, plus other virtues (see Mosiah 3:19).

Joseph Smith stated, “Patience is heavenly” (History of the Church, 6:427)."


I find myself struggling with patience everyday. At my job, in my home but more importantly with my inability to get pregnant. I am simply not patient. I want it now. On my terms. Yet, God is teaching me ever so slowly that everything in life is on His terms not mine. There is a reason he is having us wait. Maybe it is because we are about to move and become more financially stable. Maybe it is because Tom and I just got sealed and our still finding our ground in our marriage. Maybe it is because my mother is right and we should wait. Yet, this agonizing pain of wanting to be a mother has yet to subside. I try and not worry about it, think about, hurt about it... but I can honestly say I have never wanted anything more than I want to be a mother. And when I see, what seems to be everyone around me getting pregnant, it breaks my heart. I want to be happy for those that have received this amazing blessing, but I just cry. Don't get me wrong... I am so happy for them, but it just hurts that I have yet to receive this same blessing. I watch on tv, these moms with bellies, or giving birth, or those who didn't know they were pregnant (love this show) and I yearn to have the belly, the kicking inside, the backache and uncomfortableness of being pregnant. I want to hold my own flesh and blood in my arms and look into it's eyes for the first time and feel this love that everyone explains as being the most amazing love you have every felt. I want to change dirty diapers and help them up when they fall. I want to lay down rules and see what it was my parents experienced with me. I want it all. And yet, here we are, a year and a month of trying, baby-less.


And so, I will fast and pray for understanding. Not to get pregnant, but for understanding as to why we are waiting. I will go to the Temple in search of answers and patience. I will strive to be more patient and understand that there is a time and place for everything. And I know that Heavenly Father will bless us with a family. We may just have to wait longer than I wanted. And that's ok.


Lots of love




No comments: