Re:Progress

So-
Here is what I learned today at group.

Feelings and moods are different.
Feelings are like the weather *today it is warm*
Moods are like the climate *it is fall*
Feelings change frequently.
Moods tend to last a while- but shouldn't last forever.

Your feelings are like the waves in the ocean.
They come from no where- last but a brief moment and then disappear.

When I feel something, anything, I need to stop and recognize that feeling.
I am not to become that feeling for that feeling is not me.
Once I know what I am feeling, I need to find out how it got me there.
What was I thinking that made me feel this way?

Does this sound basic?
I feel like I have never learned this before.
Or maybe I did learn and just chose not to utilize it.
I am learning how to not let my feelings control me.
And I feel like this is something I should have learned a long time ago.
Why am I just learning it now?

I told my doctor today about how I feel like I have lost my mother.
He said, "Of course you do, but that is your feeling, which is irrational, and through group you'll learn how to control that."
There will be a lot of groups to come.
I plan on going to 2-3 a week.

I am ready to be better.
I am ready to become the best person I can.

My dear Nina reminded me today that regardless of how I feel about myself, I am still a good person.
I have made mistakes *most of us do*
But I know that the person I once was, is gone.
I am no longer doing things to please everyone else.
I am now focusing on me, and my husband and our eternal family.
I will only be true to myself.
That is all I can do.
Merci ma grandmere pour me dire que je suis magnefic. Je t'aime avec tout mon coeur.
I am really glad she reminded me of that.
Thank you.

Goodnight world- brownies, How to Train a Dragon and my husband are all waiting for me. :)