Change is inevitable

Change.
It is something that each of go through at one point in our life.
We can choose to do something with that change.
We can let it swallow us if it is not something we want to change.
We can let it guide us to where we are suppose to be.
We can choose to do nothing about it.

A good friend of mine once told me, "Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.” It was written by Frank Herbert and it couldn't be more truthful, at least to me.

On Sunday, I was driving with my MIL out to see sissy. We were talking about the circumstances that have been placed in front of me over the last few months. BIG changes have taken place. BIG obstacles have come my way. We talked about how a year ago, there is no way I would have been able to handle any of these changes. I would have let it swallow me whole and I would have disappeared. I was really sick. Mentally, physically and emotionally. And then my family did something that made me angry. That hurt me. That saved me. They forced me to look at myself. And it took me a long time to recognize that this was a change I needed to go through.

I have always wanted to be a better person. To show people that I really do love them. That they are important to me. I have always wanted to make others proud of me and my actions. I have always wanted to be the girl that had integrity. I have always wanted someone to look up to me. And none of that was going to happen if I stayed where I was at. I was hurting so many people around me, but more importantly, I was killing myself. I was slowly watching myself fall. And thankfully, I had my family and my Heavenly Father there to catch me. And thank you, Mom, for recognizing the change my heart has made.

I know that in my years of destruction (and that was a lot of my life), I hurt many people. I am sorry. I will atone to each and every one of you in one way or another, but know that I know. I have not forgotten. In fact, it is what makes me strive to be a better person, to SHOW you that change has taken place in my life.

I must give this change in me to someone higher than all of us. I have FINALLY, after trying and trying over the years, put my faith completely in God (this didn't just happen, but it is what changed me). It is Him who has changed my heart. It is Him who gets all my praise. I couldn't do it without Him and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He knows what He is doing. I wear a bracelet that was given to me by my aunt everyday that reminds me that He will never forsake me (I know you won't either Fritz). I love that T and I have centered our lives around the Gospel. We pray together EVERY morning. We go to church. We serve. We live for God's purpose. I am so thankful that I have had this opportunity.

A year ago. Hmph! What a year it has been. What a BLESSING it has been.

Thank you baby for hanging in there with me.
For being my strength, my hope, and my feet when I couldn't stand.
Thank you for never giving up on me.
I am so proud of you and so thankful for you.
You are the best thing to have ever happened to me.
I love you!

And thank you friends and family, for being true.
For being there when I needed someone.
My life is made all the more beautiful with you in it.
And thank you for loving me unconditionally.

I am truly blessed.

All my love
XOXO