I know that it is just a test. Thomas and I made a good decision last week... we decided to go get sealed... to make the ultimate commitment to each other... we are going to be with each other for time and all eternity. And not only that, but we have made a commitment to God to be worthy to enter into His Temple. While it isn't too hard, there are still things that had to change- or that are going to have to be changed- as we learn. Like my caffeine intake. I haven't had any since we decided to get sealed. And other than this stupid ear infection that I have had for 4 days, I have never felt better. We are really doing this. Thomas is putting forth his effort and it means more to me more than he will ever know. It took my breath away when he told me.
But things just went all haywire after we decided to get sealed- it reminded me of my car breaking down the night of my baptism and Lee telling me that Satan was going to do everything he could to stop me from going down the right road.
So this week- I think he tried HARD!!!!
- work sucked! I was suppose to sign a loan on Tuesday- and it didn't happen. Which means that the likelihood of Thomas and I going to Wyoming this summer for a family memorial service/reunion was slim to none.
- I got a horrible ear infection that also included with a virus that kept me out of work for 2 days. I was miserable!!!
- I fought with my mom- which hasn't happened in a long time and really felt like it put us back to where we were not too long ago... this breaks my heart.
- My car needs new brakes- like today... and I am not sure how we are going to afford them.
But I had the chance to really pray about it. Knowing that God was going to allow us to do whatever is necessary to get through, I let go and let God. On Friday, I signed the loan I was suppose to sign on Tuesday and while the paycheck won't be nearly as big had I signed it on Tuesday- its still a paycheck. I will be able to pay some people back (thanks Mom for helping us when we needed it, we really appreciate it!), get brakes on my car- and possibly go to Wyoming (my father also called and said if we needed it- he would help). Today- I went and got some homoeopathic ear drops for my ear- and it feels a thousand times better. Still clogged and still hurts but it isn't throbbing.
I am so thankful for God. He gives me so much strength. I felt like falling apart. I felt like the whole world was spinning out of control. He remind me that it was just a test. I could have gone back to my old ways- dealt with stress via a smoke, or had a cup of coffee to help me stay awake during those nights I didn't sleep due to the ear, or just simply forgot that He has a plan. He knows what He is doing.
We are going to make it after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment