Yesterday, after battling with being sick for most of the week, I went sailing. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining, the breeze was gentle, and the water was soft. I watched the water and watched others pass by. I relaxed and took in the salty air and my whole body just melted with happiness and joy. My mind was clear of all of the drama, worries, stresses that life has caused. It was as if it was just God and me on this boat (other people were there obviously), but in this moment, it was just us. We were going 7.9 knots (and that is pretty fast--- some would say we were screaming across the bay). The sails were full of wind. My hair blew in the wind, my face felt chilly, my hands were holding on tightly, and the ocean spit in my face, surprising me. It has seemed to refresh my heart, mind, body and soul. I was inspired.
After that, I came home and decided to open up my scriptures. Tom had received some sad news that an older co-worker had passed away yesterday on our way home from our day and was feeling quite bummed that he was so upset after a glorious day. I needed inspiration. So I was searching through the topical guide for marriage, I stumbled upon mourning and it was such a fitting process. I think both Tom and I are mourning. Tom for his co-worker and me for my old self. I am letting that person go. The one who hangs onto the past and never forgives herself for her wrong doings. I am simply ready to move on now. Anyways, it took me to 2 Nephi Chapter 8. I get to verse 16-19 and am totally lost and have to get someone to help me (so thankful that my grandparents have such an amazing grasp of the Gospel). And it talks about the second coming and Jerusalem falling. Then Chapter 9 talks about the atonement, and the sacrifice that was made for us so that we can be with our Heavenly Father again. I often forget about that. We are sinners... but as this scripture says, "O, my beloved brethern, turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast; come unto that God who is the rock of your salvation." ~2 Nephi 9:45
I have to let go. And come unto God. It felt so good to hear this... to know it. To feel it. My heart felt glad for the first time in weeks. My cup overfloweth. I then went to my Patriarchal Blessing and re-read it. It was just a year ago that I received it and it is still one of my fondest memories. It tells me to seek through prayer and be an example as I will shine bright. I forget that too. I am a Child of God. And I will shine with His love. It also reminded me that each time I take the sacrament I am just as clean as the day I was baptized. What a wonderful gift that is! I always think I am unworthy of His love, but yet He gives us the amazing opportunity every week to be clean again. I am so very blessed for His love.
I am happy.
Today.
And that is all that matters.
Today is all that matters.
Thanks Rene, for the sailing... it opened my heart and mind unexpectedly and brought me back to where I need to be. <3
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