story of our love

Its all about faith....

On Tuesday, I lost my job.

By Friday, we no longer had a condo.

By Monday, the bank that owns the condo told us we can once again purchase the condo.

And by Tuesday, I had a job again.

Tom attests it to paying tithing. I believe it was from the abundance of prayers and love that showered us.

I just wanted to say thank you for all of your prayers and for all those who thought of us. We are so very grateful.

I will start working at Bank of America on December 7th and am so excited to have a month vacation. :)

Tom is still working.

We are getting ready to move.

And we are excited for the holidays.

The weather is getting chilly. And the leaves are starting to fall.

This is my favorite time of the year.

And I am sharing it with the most amazing man in the world.

That Your Burdens May Be Light

After this week I have learned so much about leaning on God to get me through the hopelessness and fear I have felt this week.

I lost my job this week. We weren't able to complete the transaction on our first home. A few more issues and I just felt like it was too much. And then I remembered: With God nothing shall be impossible. Then I remembered, General Conference. Elder L. Whitney Clayton spoke on Burdens. And so tonight- I listened to it again... and read it again. And learned. And felt at peace. We are going to be just fine. God is going to provide and He will always carry us when we are struggling. I am so thankful for the Gospel. For my husband. For the love he has for me and the strength he gives me. I love him so much.

Here is Elder Clayton's talk... after you will find a quote from a blog that I read tonight that just fit so perfectly.

"Many years ago I walked at dawn through the narrow cobblestone streets of Cusco, Peru, high in the Andes Mountains. I saw a man from a local indigenous group walking down one of the streets. He was not a big man physically, but he carried an immense load of firewood in a huge burlap sack on his back. The sack seemed to be as big as he was. The load must have weighed as much as he did. He steadied it with a rope that looped under the bottom of the sack and circled up around his forehead. He gripped the rope tightly on both sides of his head. He kept a rag on his forehead underneath the rope to keep it from cutting into his skin. He leaned forward under his burden and walked with deliberate, difficult steps.

The man was carrying the firewood to the marketplace, where it would be sold. In an average day he might make just two or three round-trips across the town to deliver similarly awkward, heavy loads.

The memory of him bent forward, struggling down the street has become increasingly meaningful for me with the passage of years. How long could he continue to carry such burdens?

Life presses all kinds of burdens on each of us, some light but others relentless and heavy. People struggle every day under burdens that tax their souls. Many of us struggle under such burdens. They can be emotionally or physically ponderous. They can be worrisome, oppressive, and exhausting. And they can continue for years.

In a general sense, our burdens come from three sources. Some burdens are the natural product of the conditions of the world in which we live. Illness, physical disability, hurricanes, and earthquakes come from time to time through no fault of our own. We can prepare for these risks and sometimes we can predict them, but in the natural pattern of life we will all confront some of these challenges.

Other burdens are imposed on us by the misconduct of others. Abuse and addictions can make home anything but a heaven on earth for innocent family members. Sin, incorrect traditions, repression, and crime scatter burdened victims along the pathways of life. Even less-serious misdeeds such as gossip and unkindness can cause others genuine suffering.

Our own mistakes and shortcomings produce many of our problems and can place heavy burdens on our own shoulders. The most onerous burden we impose upon ourselves is the burden of sin. We have all known the remorse and pain which inevitably follow our failure to keep the commandments.

No matter the burdens we face in life as a consequence of natural conditions, the misconduct of others, or our own mistakes and shortcomings, we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, who sent us to earth as part of His eternal plan for our growth and progress. Our unique individual experiences can help us prepare to return to Him. The adversity and afflictions that are ours, however difficult to bear, last, from heaven’s perspective, for “but a small moment; and then, if [we] endure it well, God shall exalt [us] on high.”¹ We must do everything we can to bear our burdens “well” for however long our “small moment” carrying them lasts.

Burdens provide opportunities to practice virtues that contribute to eventual perfection. They invite us to yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and [put] off the natural man and [become] a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and [become] as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.”² Thus burdens become blessings, though often such blessings are well disguised and may require time, effort, and faith to accept and understand. Four examples may help explain this:

• First, Adam was told, “Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake,” which meant for his benefit, and “by the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread.”³ Work is a continual burden, but it is also a continual blessing “for [our] sake,” for it teaches lessons we can learn only “by the sweat of [our] face.”
  
  
• Second, Alma observed that the poverty and “afflictions [of the poor among the Zoramites] had truly humbled them, and that they were in a preparation to hear the word.”⁴ He added, “Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye.”⁵ Our economic challenges may help prepare us to hear the word of the Lord.
  
  
• Third, because of the “exceedingly great length of [their] war,” many Nephites and Lamanites “were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.”⁶ Political unrest, social disorder, and, in some areas of the world, modern Gadianton robbers may humble us and motivate us to seek heavenly shelter from societal storms.
  
  
• Fourth, Joseph Smith was told that the terrible things he suffered for years at the hands of his enemies would “give [him] experience, and . . . be for [his] good.”⁷ The suffering we experience through the offenses of others is a valuable, though painful, school for improving our own behavior.

Further, bearing up under our own burdens can help us develop a reservoir of empathy for the problems others face. The Apostle Paul taught that we should “bear . . . one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”⁸ Accordingly, our baptismal covenants require that we should be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; yea, and [be] willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”⁹

Keeping our baptismal covenants helps relieve our own burdens as well as those of burdened souls we serve.¹⁰ Those who offer such assistance to others stand on holy ground. In explaining this, the Savior taught:

“When saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

“When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

“Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”¹¹

Through it all, the Savior offers us sustaining strength and support, and in His own time and way, He offers deliverance. When Alma and his followers escaped from the armies of King Noah, they established a community named Helam. They began to till the ground, build buildings, and prosper.¹² Without warning, an army of the Lamanites brought them into bondage, and “none could deliver them but the Lord their God.”¹³ That deliverance, however, did not come immediately.

Their enemies began to “put tasks upon them, and put taskmasters over them.”¹⁴ Although they were threatened with death for praying,¹⁵ Alma and his people “did pour out their hearts to [God]; and he did know the thoughts of their hearts.”¹⁶ Because of their goodness and their obedience to their baptismal covenants,¹⁷ they were delivered in stages. The Lord said to them:

“I will . . . ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that . . . you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

“And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage.”¹⁸

Mercifully, the Son of God offers us deliverance from the bondage of our sins, which are among the heaviest of all the burdens we bear. During His Atonement He suffered “according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance.”¹⁹ Christ “suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.”²⁰ When we repent and keep the commandments, forgiveness and relief from our burdened conscience come with the help that only the Savior offers, for “surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy.”²¹

I remember that man in Peru, hunched over and struggling to carry that enormous sack of firewood on his back. For me, he is an image of us all as we struggle with the burdens of life. I know that as we keep the commandments of God and our covenants, He helps us with our burdens. He strengthens us. When we repent, He forgives us and blesses us with peace of conscience and joy.²² May we then submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I got this off of another blog, but it fits so perfectly:

"From this experience I learned that somebody does want to hold my hand. Somebody does notice me. And that somebody is not only Tom but Jesus Christ, our Savior. When we are struggling and feel like we have many burdens to carry, Jesus Christ is there. If we have our hand ready he will guide us through the hardest trials and tribulations for he has suffered many more than us. Then when he feels he has lead us a good deal of the way he may slowly release his hand from ours, but he won't leave us, he will never leave us! He will always be right there dancing beside us, ready to catch us if we fall. He may let us off on our own, but he won't leave us alone."

What a blessing it is to know that Christ is always there. And with Him and through Him, Tom and I will be great. We are great. We have a home and food and clothes and it will be ok. I am so thankful for our families. They are so supportive and loving. It means so much to me.

2 years ago.

Two years ago... the love of my life:

Asked me:

To be his FOREVER!

I love him more today than I did yesterday and will love him more tomorrow than today. I am complete with this man. And I couldn't think of anything better than to wake up next to him.

I know there have already been rough times in our short life together, but as long as you and I have each other, we will make it through anything.

You are my soul mate, my best friend, my love. I am so glad you took the chance to meet me and took an ever bigger leap of faith when you asked me to marry you. You never cease to amaze me with your words, your gestures or your selflessness. Thank you for all you are. For all you have been. For all you make of me.

I am so very blessed.

XOXO

Your loving wife.

P.S.

This is the cutest girl alive... my niece Morgan aka Moogie! How I love her! Thanks Molls for bringing her into this world. She truly is such a blessing to all of us. I can't wait to see you guys again! Love you Moogie!

Patience... what a virtue.

I love it when I am taught a lesson. Or am being taught a lesson. It makes me realize how loved and blessed I truly am to have Heavenly Father spend time on me teaching me things that I need.

I am reading a lot about patience. It seems to be an underlying theme throughout much of the Bible and Book of Mormon. To quote Elder Oaks in an article in Liahona:

"... “charity suffereth long.” That is what patience is all about. Charity “is not easily provoked” is another aspect of this quality, as is charity “beareth all things.” And finally, charity “endureth all things” is certainly an expression of patience (Moroni 7:45). From these defining elements it is evident that without patience gracing our soul, we would be seriously lacking with respect to a Christlike character.

In the Bible Job offers the classic portrait of patience. In the face of losing his vast empire, including his children, Job was able, because of his unfailing faith, to proclaim, “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Through all of his tribulation and pain, “Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job 1:21–22).

How often do we hear oppressed souls ask foolishly, “How could God do this to me?” when really they should be praying for strength to “beareth” and “endureth all things.”

The greatest scriptural examples of patience are found in the life of Jesus Christ. His long-suffering and endurance are best demonstrated on that excruciating night in Gethsemane as He uttered, in His atoning agony, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matthew 26:39). He truly suffered and bore and endured all things.

While nailed to the cross on Calvary, Christ continued in His perfect example of patience as He uttered the singular words, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).

These examples of patience have greater meaning for us when we consider the admonition found in 3 Nephi: “Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi 27:27).

Several scriptures highlight the importance of patience. Let me mention a few:

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).

“Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith” (Mosiah 23:21).

In Mosiah, King Benjamin instructs us that we will be a natural-man enemy of God until we yield to the enticings of the Holy Ghost through our patience, plus other virtues (see Mosiah 3:19).

Joseph Smith stated, “Patience is heavenly” (History of the Church, 6:427)."

I find myself struggling with patience everyday. At my job, in my home but more importantly with my inability to get pregnant. I am simply not patient. I want it now. On my terms. Yet, God is teaching me ever so slowly that everything in life is on His terms not mine. There is a reason he is having us wait. Maybe it is because we are about to move and become more financially stable. Maybe it is because Tom and I just got sealed and our still finding our ground in our marriage. Maybe it is because my mother is right and we should wait. Yet, this agonizing pain of wanting to be a mother has yet to subside. I try and not worry about it, think about, hurt about it... but I can honestly say I have never wanted anything more than I want to be a mother. And when I see, what seems to be everyone around me getting pregnant, it breaks my heart. I want to be happy for those that have received this amazing blessing, but I just cry. Don't get me wrong... I am so happy for them, but it just hurts that I have yet to receive this same blessing. I watch on tv, these moms with bellies, or giving birth, or those who didn't know they were pregnant (love this show) and I yearn to have the belly, the kicking inside, the backache and uncomfortableness of being pregnant. I want to hold my own flesh and blood in my arms and look into it's eyes for the first time and feel this love that everyone explains as being the most amazing love you have every felt. I want to change dirty diapers and help them up when they fall. I want to lay down rules and see what it was my parents experienced with me. I want it all. And yet, here we are, a year and a month of trying, baby-less.

And so, I will fast and pray for understanding. Not to get pregnant, but for understanding as to why we are waiting. I will go to the Temple in search of answers and patience. I will strive to be more patient and understand that there is a time and place for everything. And I know that Heavenly Father will bless us with a family. We may just have to wait longer than I wanted. And that's ok.

Lots of love

My signature

I finally figured out how to get my signature on here... :)

So here it is!

Which one do you like better?